Let's call it a normal grown-up life

Hello there! OMG It's been 2 years since the last time I posted something here. 

The last time I wrote here was about complaining my job and things were really difficult at that time, but guess what? Things got more seriously depressing after that. LOL 2022 was something big for me that I was thinking about giving up. Never had I imagine that I would be treaten unfairly. 

Long story short, I've been moved to new place and there were so much dramas behind it. It was so complicated. Maybe here in in Indonesia you often hear about how people keep complaining about working in such a broken government's field and I could say that it's sure a real thing. Many people think government job is peaceful and you will have security for life time. Everyone craves for it. Well, my parents said so, but after working for almost 4 years in government field I could say that It's not what it really looks like. There're so many conflict of interests and sometimes politics are taking a place behind it. It makes me sick most of the time. I can't tell the whole story here, but for me this was a life-changing experience in my life. ever! It's like something I've never deal with before. 

I remember I was crying a lot dealing with my job mutation issues. My friends in office were also crying hearing this sudden news. Well actualy I got called for mutation on December 2021 and the official announcement was on  April 2022 so I've been hiding this news from my friends. Most of them felt so dissapointed hearing this news, I couldn't help but crying, because I think it's unfair and everyone knows that this was beyond our control. Deep down in my heart I knew that this sadness will fade away, I just need some times. Believe me, I even thought about quitting this job, but I thought it's not wise enough to take this sudden decision while myself was still unstable and my heart was full of anger, sadness and dissapointment. Thankfully, I have so many supportive friends and family who told me not to give up although things seems unfair. They believe that I could overcome this. They're just more than enough for me.

I've been telling myself that everything's going to be alright. I learned to be more mindful and focus only with things that I can control. To be honest there're so many voice in my head. What if I failed? What if I couldn't blend in with the new place? What if things got worse? Too many 'what if" in my head.  

So here I am now, it's been almost a year since the mutation annouced. And you know what? I feel more grateful to be here in my new place. I could say it is even better than previous one.  It was challenging at the beginning, because I was still need to adapt and I found out that some previous project were left undone and most of them were so messed up. I took one step at a time to fix it. It doesn't really matter now, things were finaly fixed slowly so does my heart. Sometimes I think that my mutation issues was my great life-lesson, my best guru. I guess that's how I grew up. When I remember about this past moment I can finally smiling now, Let's call it a normal grown-up life and a blessing in disguise.

Cheers!